Almost 3 Months with No Chastity

It’s been 8+ weeks with no chastity. Probably the longest we’ve gone in a few years, and not by choice.

His POV

During my birthday unlock in late October, we noticed a knotty-feeling vein under my foreskin. Apparently, the cage caused irritation over time and created a mild clot. After some internet sleuthing (and a very vague text to my urologist college roommate), we learned that thrombosed veins can happen with “vigorous sexual activity.” Fortunately, it’s not serious and will heal on its own. Unfortunately, you need to limit any further irritation for a while.

It’s almost gone and I will be back in my cage, where I belong, as soon as that happens.

** mistress nods in agreement **

But let’s back up, it’s been a while since our last post. There was a major event: we went to a sex party and had our first “soft” swap with another couple! It was not planned. It did not involve chastity. But it made us think about chastity in a different way.

We’re part of a few LA erotic event groups and got invited to a new one in late October. Mistress was debating whether to make me attend wearing my cage, but the thrombosed vein made the decision for her. I got to attend unlocked, lucky me.

We Ubered to somewhere in the LA hills and walked into a mostly empty house. An older couple started chatting with us and asked how we got into “the lifestyle.” I was nervous and a bit tipsy, and offhandedly mentioned our interest in kink and chastity specifically. The gentleman’s face immediately got less friendly. “We’re not into that.”

Yikes ok, noted. Valuable lesson learned: swinging and kink may not necessarily overlap.

The party itself was somewhat lame at first. But somewhere in the midst of things, we started chatting with a couple, mutually complaining about the lameness. The vibe was easy, the banter was quality. We started getting flirty. And then we went upstairs.

It’s a blur, but mistress ended up naked on a bed. The other wife asked if she could go down on her, and mistress replied with zero hesitation: “Yes 😊 .” I was surprised (in a very good way) since mistress has only ever kissed another woman.

Both husbands started licking and sucking mistress’s breasts while the wife eagerly devoured mistress’s pussy. I lost count of how many times she came.

After several orgasms, mistress smiled and said “I want to play now.” The other couple was amazing and coached us to ask explicitly whether a certain action was OK.

Mistress looked at me devilishly: “Can I suck his dick?” I almost came on the spot.

Apparently we started this group project too close to the deadline, and the closing lights came on just a few minutes later. The other couple wanted us to come back to their hotel, but we politely declined since we’d already gone further than we planned.

On the ride home, we were both a bit shell shocked. And insanely horny. We fucked for a full hour when we got home. Then fell asleep.

The next day, we both woke up with conflicting emotions. We’d crossed into new territory. We both had to assure each other that we liked it. We both were surprised at the lack of jealousy. It felt like something hot and exciting that we experienced together. And wanted to experience again. In the week that followed, we fucked at levels only matched by our early dating years in college.

Her POV

*blushes*

It was fun. I think we were both surprised at how OK and natural it felt. I don’t need to repeat the detailed recap, ha.

This is primarily a chastity blog so I’ll talk about that!

I’m not sure it would’ve felt so natural with chastity incorporated. I’m actually glad we got to experience that without the chastity filter, at least the first time.

We’re not sure how much we’ve realistically opened the swinging door. TBD. But, I think I do like the idea of trying out chastity in that setting - with the right people.

My favorite thing about chastity is the surprise factor. My husband doesn’t know if or when I’ll let him out. That’s why I don’t like a strict schedule. I can totally see that getting incorporated into the right sex party, and it being really hot.

Maybe he thinks it’s a cage free party and I correct him at the last minute. Or maybe he has to sit in the corner and watch me cum over and over again from someone else’s mouth or cock. Maybe I’ll let him participate but only with his tongue. All of that is conceptually very hot as long as I can choose what I want in the moment. Maybe his tongue skills will convince me to let him out and play. I like having the options.

On the flip side, we could TOTALLY see surprise chastity being a major buzkill at your “average” sex party. I think most couples attend sex parties because they both want to play. I’d imagine some people would be a bit pissed off if they found out, in the heat of the moment, that 50% of the dicks were off limits. I’m probably one of those people!

Maybe the only answer is to separate chastity from sex parties. And/or play with couples where there is specific chastity-based negotiation beforehand.

The heart of this blog and our sexual partnership is this: we don’t create extreme rules. We take what we like and make it work for us. We try stuff and build on what we like.

And if anyone’s interested in starting a “see where the night takes us” chastity sex party in SoCal…

(We’re still searching for the perfect cage)

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Before we go, quick thank you to everyone who reached out to us via our contact form or Fetlife. It’s amazing to hear from likeminded folks.